While doing my “looking back” exercise at the end of 2014 I realized (not for the first time) that a recurring theme is presenting itself for me to learn from and grow. It has showed itself several times over the course of my life. Grammar school, high school, my corporate job, and now again in my own business. This trigger, in a simple explanation, is the feeling of no longer “belonging” in my mind because my friends, boss, mentor, did not consider me first for something (an excursion, a business trip, a teaching position) therefore, I was not “first” and, again, therefore, not needed…..I no longer belonged.
My former response had always been….”OK, F them…..their loss…..I’m fine without…..yada yada” and I pushed it aside and continued on. This most recent trigger really threw me for a loop as it was the 5th year anniversary of my TBI and I was feeling broken as well as not belonging. So what have I done? After having my pity party I have stopped…..meditated about it…..asked my herd and have realized and embraced the knowledge that what I was seeking was external validation. I am now seeking my personal/professional validation from internally. It is what I think that matters. If I’m OK with ME then that is all that is necessary.
So for 2015 I am going to be more cognizant of looking for outside validation. When that happens, and it will, I will embrace it, let it go and look inside myself for the validation I need. I will admit that the occasional validation from a colleague, friend, client will be most appreciated and acknowledged. But I will look to myself and my fabulous herd of wisdom horses for my own validation.
Blessings of the Goddess to you for 2015. May you identify, accept and overcome your own life triggers. Come on out to the Ranch and we’ll support you on your own journey.